The quarrel, made me realized you are similar to him. The way you talk last night before we hang up the phone, he use to talk to me like this. Those flash back feelings, hurts. It hurts so much, so dam much. Once again I felt tat broken heart, once again I'm tat broken hearted girl, crying and alone.

I thought that was the last time I would felt so broken hearted,  so painful. I thought you are the last, I thought you are the one for me. That has always been my thoughts but ytd night was the 1st time I doubt tat thoughts, myself.

It's was so painful, I felt like screaming at the top of my voice but I couldn't. I hope that I could just dig my heart out and squeeze it tight in my hands. I hope I could just take out that heart and put it in a safe-box, lock it up tightly, never be found again, never gonna open up and break again.

I'm not gonna be like how I use to be, not so soon maybe? Not gonna be that way again? I don't know.

A broken heart will heal but the ugly scar will always be there.

Been through so much, am tired now, has been pressing myself for so long. Couldn't even remember how it started and when it started. Every broken relationship, changes me. I learn to be something else.

Sometimes teddy bears are really what I've got. Please don't steal it away from me. Teddy bears are one of the things I hold it close and tight to that piece of muscle that hurts. It's one of the thing that I felt safe with.

Please hug me warm, hold me tight, make me smile, keep me safe.

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